「你是不是那個中文不好的人啊？」 因為2002年那時候有一位台灣學生來住我們家，所以我才開始認識「台灣」這個地方。 每次接受採訪時，不可或缺的問題就是「你們為什麼會去台灣？」或「你們為什麼會開始學中文？」現在因為回答了百萬遍，所以連睡覺的時候也能講這個故事！ 我都說「因為來住我們家的台灣學生的英文不太好，所以我常常跟她聊天，幫她練習，然後為了回報我，她開始教我中文」。結果我講的好像自己又大方，又聰明的樣子！後面沒有加上「住我們家的台灣朋友，半年後英文進步到考進澳洲的大學，我自己卻只能說幾句破爛的中文而已」！ 其實，我2006年去台灣念語言學校時，才開始有辦法用中文簡單地跟別人對話。問題是，因為周圍的朋友太好，一直讚美我的中文能力，所以我方在心上，三個月後回英國帶著寬廣驕傲的微笑！ 2009年，前進樂團搬到台灣去的時候，三個團員都上語言學校了。 有一天在練團中，哥哥開始唱一句「對不起我的中文不好」然後北極熊加入，五分鐘後副歌的音樂都有了，只卻一些詞。他們兩個很高興，一直叫我幫忙想詞，可是我心裡都在想「白痴們，誰的中文不好？我的中文明明很好」！我不甘願地幫他們想些詞，卻從此開始討厭那首歌！ 再過幾個月，一個當地的朋友問我一個問題，他說「你在台灣最喜歡什麼？」，結果自以為中文很好的我回答「我很喜歡睡覺」。 朋友聽不懂我在說什麼，不知道我如果那麼喜歡睡覺，為什麼不留在英國好好的睡覺呢？ 跟他說我「喜歡吃睡覺」之後他才懂了我的意思，糾正我的發音為「水餃」。 驕傲地我突然從天上墜落，這樣簡單的錯誤也會犯，好丟臉。 於是我開始想，是不是要從團員們多學習謙卑，學習怎樣自嘲？ 剛好我們的那首歌都還沒有注歌的詞，我決定放下我的自高，加入團員們的幽默，就把我的糗事寫成注歌的詞！ 上個星期我們在家鄉Bristol參加了過年的活動，結果一堆國中生跑過來問我是不是唱「對不起我的中文不好」的樂團的團員？他們上中文課的時候都會聽這首歌。我們也常常受到來自世界各國的信問我們可不可以提供歌詞，樂譜或卡拉版MP3因為他們的中文課要一起唱（包括美國，英國，智利，委內瑞拉，西班牙，荷蘭，香港，澳洲，韓國，阿根廷，巴西還有我已經忘了的一些其他地方）。SHE唱過一首「全世界都在學中國話」但我發現實事上這個意思是全世界都在學我的糗事！。 不過，出錯真的是學習語言最有用的方式，我從那時候，除了故意在mv裡講錯之外，沒有再把睡覺跟水餃搞混。最後只能謝謝團員們讓我發現，驕傲的態度只會攔阻學習的機會！ http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMjY4ODE2MTAw.html?x

Robin Hood

Well, recently I've not really been near to facebook, not really been on my blog and as the band has been busier in the studio that out performing it's been a time for some reflection.

I've found myself coming back to music I used to listen to when I was much younger and there's one particular song that has taken hold of me in a new way. It's called 'Much Afraid' and I would share the song but that would breach copyright, but I'd at least like to share the lyrics. The writer faces the issues of pain and loss head on, without understanding why, but somehow still holding onto a deeper hope.

Empty again, sunken down so far,
So scared to fall, I might not get up again,
So I lay at your feet, all of my brokenness,
I carry all of my burdens to you.

All of these things, held up in vain,
No reason no rhyme, just the scars that they leave,
All of these things, so much afraid,
Scared out of my mind, by the demons I've made,
But Jesus you never ever let me go.

So happy to love, yet so far to go,
You lead me on to where I've never been before...

For me, this song has brought comfort and solace. We all face these things in life, we don't understand and we can't even control our own hearts sometimes, but there is someone who will never let go!

On that front, trying to make a difference in the world is something that I've found has helped me to see beyond my own problems. I can't change the world, but in trying to change the world I will be changed and if we all work together on some things, the effects can be world changing (as the Jubilee 2000 campaign, Make Poverty History campaign, Fair Trade initiative have all shown us in the past ten years, lifting millions of people out of poverty). This Robin Hood Tax is something that could be an incredibly historic event for the world, please do support it!
http://www.robinhoodtaxvideo.org/en/public/5731/

The Story Continues...

今天的功課

Having not written a blog for longer than I can remember I thought I should at least post some homework. Feel free to correct my mistakes :).

因為在英國大家都說學生時代就是黃金時期，所以我有點驚訝聽到台灣另外有說法就是剛入社會到四十歲就是黃金時期！
英國人認為這個時候就是你要自己親身感受到這個世界的辛苦，要自己了解什麼是‘工作’的時期！

當然生活的每一個階段都有起伏可是有沒有辦法讓每一個階段成為黃金時期嗎？

哲學有個說法就是所有從外來的刺激物不能控制我們因為反應的選擇還在我們的手上。理論是說不管我們生活發生了什麼事，我們的反應和態度會確定這件事有好或壞的效果。我相信這個理論是有道理的但是
按照我自己的經驗來說我發現我有個問題
我為什麼不能完全控制自己的情緒？

我覺得一個原因是因為理論就是理論，現實也是現實，中間有一段距離。看到陳綺貞的訪問也開啟了我的想法。當然人沒辦法完全控制自己的情緒或回答自己所有的問題，我們不能想要那樣就成為那樣可是我們可以選擇我們怎麼樣去發洩裡面的每一種感覺。
好的創作會把裡面的感恩，痛苦，快樂，難過還有沒答案的問題混合在一起，讓別人能夠認同的！
人類常常不需要理論來給答案而是需要人幫你發表裡面沒辦法表現出來的情緒！

記錄片

最近不在管我blog的藉口就是因為在忙拍個記錄片。兩個好朋友從英國來台灣三個禮拜跟著我們去很多地方一步一步把我們為什麼來台灣的故事拍下來。很多在英國的朋友都會問我“為什麼要選擇去台灣”（其實很多台灣人也問我同樣的一個問題）。每次回答時不太知道要從那裡開始，常常講到一半問的人已經不要繼續聽！給朋友看照片或講故事真的不夠讓他們了解我們跟這個小島的緣份所以有機會拍這次的記錄片真的讓我很興奮也非常感恩。在拍攝過程當中我們兩個英國朋友跟我們說“本來不太了解你們在這裡做什麼也為什麼會離開英國那麼久，可是現在明白了”，讓我非常開心的是他們在拍攝有這個感覺可能代表看記錄片的英國觀眾也會懂！（回去時不會再被問“泰國好玩嗎？”）。

Recently we've been shooting a documentary, it took us about three weeks, taking us all around Taiwan, performing in many interesting venues, visiting some of the most beautiful places here and meeting a whole host of innovative people, all trying to push the boundaries of creativity in whichever field they are working in.
"Why did you guys go/come to Taiwan?" is a question that seems to come at me from all directions (from English and Taiwanese people alike) and trying to tell the whole story usually leaves people feeling a bit confused after a few minutes.
It was kind of a dream to be able to capture something of why we came here, what we do here and why this place and it's people are special to us, so having our two good friends come and actually document a genuine Transition tour with all it's ups and downs, the people the places and everything else around felt like the dream coming true.

Now I'm looking forward to seeing something of the final product, want to show you all:)!

Speaking

Last night we performed a concert in a new Cafe in an old part of Taipei. It was a really interesting experience, having dinner out on the street from a traditional fried noodle kind of place and feeling like we were in the 1950's or something.

The buildings there have been refurbished and a kind of creative arts centre seems to be forming so that was interesting. The new coffee shop was full of people which was great, because it meant the concert was much more fun (with a lively Taiwan style audience) and also because all the profits from the night (and 20% of our cd money) were all for the people in need in Japan.

Something I realised last night as I was introducing lots of songs was that I could hear my own voice saying things like "雖然我們都遇到困難，我們會累到不想繼續，但是千萬不要放棄，我們還是要用愛去面對我們的未來。。。“

I believe this, I really do, but can I do it?
As I was playing the rhythms of the songs I looked into the faces of some of the audience who were really drawn in, did they think I was encouraging them because I'd been through things and won out in the end?
The reality was that each word was coming out of my mouth and back round and challenging my heart.

Recently, more things have gone wrong than I care to write in this blog, I still have so much to be grateful for, but I sometimes I just feel like the world is falling in on me and there's nothing I can do about it.

Then I hear my own voice encouraging people never to give up, to believe in love and to face the future with courage and confidence because God cares for them.
Why are words so easy to say but life so hard to live?
I hope the audience yesterday were encouraged by our music and words, life isn't an easy journey and reality is often so harsh.

Hope?

我每次看到世界各地發生的災難都感到難過，最近在日本發生的大地震給我的感覺特別強烈。有可能是因為我兩個月前就在東京，當然也是因為我還沒聯絡到我去年認識的仙台同學。
每次看這樣的新聞我會問“為什麼這個世界這麼可怕？”這個問題。為什麼收害的人完全不應得這樣的害？

我能做什麼幫忙呢？好像問題都太大了。

Well, on one hand, 我真的很期待有一天上帝會把整個世界更新，從那時候就沒有痛沒病沒哭沒死。
但是那時候還不是現在，現在怎麼辦？
或許我們能愛就是我們能做的事。我昨天也看了另外一個新聞一樣讓我很驚訝，日本一年的自殺率超過兩萬兩千人。

在我們自己的國家，在我們自己的旁邊都一定會有需要被愛的人。雖然我們的世界還是很可怕但是上帝給我們能力用各種方式去愛真的是有大影響力的潛力。

So while I pray for Japan's earthquake and tsunami victims and especially for my classmate 櫻井 I also hope that God will help me to extend more love to the people around me, it's not easy in the normalness of everyday life, but I do believe that love has a power, the only power, that can overcome the hurt of this world.